Posts Tagged ‘cats’

Cats ARE the coolest…and if you thought you’d get some life lessons here – forget it. Cats aren’t philosophical, they’re practical. They do what benefits them and their survival. Cat behavioral instincts are still strong after hundreds of thousands of years. When felines aligned themselves with the human race, they didn’t give up control in the process. Cats made sure we are still at their beck and call – merely downsizing a bit so they’ll fit in the house or a lap quite comfortably.

Cats teach us many things, but their strengths are in teaching us about power in relationships. They are expert manipulators, and don’t get emotionally involved unless it suits them. They are survivors and know to become too emotionally involved is weakness. Until there is total trust, you’ll never see vulnerability in a cat; only then will he let his guard down.

Cats always try to look good – maybe it’s because they know cats are the subject of cat art. Cats are vain and proud. There is no humility in a cat! A cat will not be your doormat.

While cats are playful, it’s on their own feline contrived terms. Their primitive strength lies in their ability to differentiate between the important and unimportant. We can learn from that because while catching a mouse may be important, a bath is not. It’s all about priorities and cats have strong priorities. Maybe we need them too.

Cuteness gets you what you want. While cats don’t think of themselves as cute (that would be just too demeaning) they do know they are handsome and know WE think they are cute…and this can best be used to obtain what one wants. Bowl of milk? Purr and use those big eyes. New cat toys? Destroy the couch with saber-edged claws…then use the kitten eyes. Cute can even save your life. Ask an abandoned kitten.

Cats know sex and good looks can sell anything. It was probably a cat that inspired the advertising for Levis jeans. Slow sensuous stretches, leisurely pawing at a dangling toy. You’ll never see them selling homemade cat food recipes! If there’s a way of manipulating you with unabashed sensuality, cats have it down pat.

While dog people can’t see it, cats are very loving. What seems like self-centered grooming is usually in the presence of their human friends. Grooming is a way of showing affection. I’m making myself “BEAUTIFUL” for you says volumes. This is something dogs don’t do. They figure you’ll love them no matter how stinky they are, but a cat shows its love for you by being clean, well groomed and looking good.

Cats compensate. I once knew a feral cat that had been shot through the head. He survived with perpetual sinus infections. He didn’t ask for sympathy, but managed to seek out someone that would make sure he had regular vet visits and moved in under her porch. The irony was that her husband was the one that had shot him. He didn’t hate, he didn’t give up – just made friends with his enemy’s wife. Kings have founded empires on this philosophy.

I knew a cat once that made friends with a very big dog. This cat was not afraid of anything because his “dog friend” would protect him – even from other male cats. It’s helpful to have powerful friends in high places and a smart cat capitalizes on convenient friendships. Big, strong minions bestow power on small weak dictators.

Cats are power hungry, but they know when to go hide in the cat carrier and wait for a more opportune moment to make their move. Strategy and cunning is how fiefdoms become empires. Felines one day will rule the world. You have my promise.

Having cats was a real eye opener – they are bossy, arrogant, sweet and sassy. I got used to it. Then I had a baby girl and realized it was just more of the same. Only this package didn’t come with fur and claws – it came with a mouth and a will of iron. I began thinking about how much cats are like toddlers and how my cat prepared me for being a parent.

The hardest lesson to learn was to bend to the will of a greater authority – the CAT. Once you have a cat, your life is no longer your own. Your existence is ruled by a small, furry dominatrix. She tells you when to wake up (by sitting on your face) and what you are allowed to feed her (by turning her nose up at another expensive food you went into hock to buy). By learning to submit to the will of the cat, you become a well trained human – ready for the demands of a toddler. You learn a lot having a cat – and your child benefits because she gets an experienced slave. The cat is merely a toddler on training wheels! Cats are like todlers because:

1. Both will get you to regularly prepare foods you’d ordinarily never touch.
2. They run the household with conviction and determination.
3. Cats and toddlers both destroy your furniture – cats use their claws, toddlers use art supplies and shoes.
4. Both are deceptively soft, with eyes that will melt even the hardest heart.
5. Cats and toddlers both love dangly earrings and tottering on the edge.
6. Cats and toddlers will follow you around the house until you notice them – that is unless they’re hiding so you can’t find them.
7. Both like to snuggle in bed where it’s warm and cuddly.
8. Neither has any respect for the bathroom door.
9. Both insist upon instant maid service, and get it.
10. Neither has any idea what hygene is…the cat eats dead things and the toddler eats dirt.
11. Both have a limited amount of tolerance for too much stimulation.
12. Cats chase mice, the toddler chases the cat, and we chase them both.
13. They like to torture each other (it’s all in good fun)
14. Toddlers come in all shapes, sizes and colors – just like cats.
15. Both have the spirit of exploration and curiosity.
16. Can we say “totally unpredictible”?
17. Even with familiar people, cats can be bashful, just like some toddlers.
18. Sometimes they both like to play alongside rather than with their friends.
19. Cats and toddlers are bossy – and we love them for it
20. Are plotting to take over the world together, one adult human at a time!